KILLER OF TIME

Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him. Acts 12:5

I never did get around to posting a journal yesterday. I was in 'prison'. Not a prison that we think of with metal bars, but a prison of my own making. I call it the prison of laziness.

Most people can't wait till Friday. TGIF, Thank God it's Friday! I start to have panic attacks when Friday rolls along. I struggle so much with the weekends. I think of 'trouble goes in frenzie', when Friday comes.

All week long I have a list of activies that keep me busy. Monday to Thursday I go about my days fighting the spirit of laziness and on the most part I conqueor it and destroy it. Friday comes and by the time the daycare children leave, and I force myself to at least clean up the supper dishes, my weekend starts with me in bed for the most part.

Sure I take 'breaks' of doing activities. Yes, breaks for me on the weekend are NOT resting, but DOING. I get a few loads of laundry done, grocery shopping (which I absolutely love, seriously I do!~), and putting it all away.

My family knows when weekends come, the answer to 'what's for supper' will usually be 'nothing'. Monday to Thursday I prepare healthy suppers but once Friday hits, it's up to hubby to feed this family, or take-out (which we really need to nip that in the bud with the condition of our finances).

I read in a blog somewhere about how people say "I've never committed murder", but we 'murder' time, well some of us do. I do! God gives us 24 hours and how do we spend that time? The time on the weekends for me are murder.

Last weekend I had started a devotional that in part shared my struggles with the weekends. I ended up deleting the entire post because it was SO bla bla bla, and negative. I got depressed reading it, and I could only imagine what everyone else would have gotten out of it..lol.

God has been calling me to share this struggle though with the 'sin' of laziness. It is a SIN. He has placed it on my heart for awhile now to let you all in to know my struggle with this because I NEED prayer. I need to be released from this. It's killing me. As I kill time, it's killing me.

As I stated in the other devotional I am praying for you. I ask that you pray for me also. I KNOW how powerful prayer is. This is an entry in one of my devotionals that I read this morning from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman:

Wrestling prayer can wonders do,
Bring relief in dire straits;
Prayer can force a passage through
Iron bars and heavy gates.

God has delivered me from so much. The spirit of lust, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, gluttony (HUGE struggle), cursing, gossiping,adultery. I'm going to stop and just say, 'you name it, I've struggled with it'. Get the picture?

I also know that 'confessing' my struggles, being honest about them, NOT only to God, but to other's has helped me find release from these bondages. So I really believe that is why God hasn't stopped placing upon my heart to share this struggle, laziness.

I will lay in bed and think, meditate, even envision all the things I could be doing. The projects, the crafts, the cleaning, the baking, even going for a walk with my daugther. I picture myself going about my day and 'doing'. I think how my life would be like to be able to go about my days 'doing' till it was time to rest for the night.

That is my dream, my hope, my prayer. To use the 24 hours that God gave me for His glory and honor. Seven days a week. To be wise with my time, to be diligent with my time which really is God's time that He gave me.

Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. Proverbs10:4

My heart cries out for freeedom. Freedom in Christ Jesus. To walk in His ways, to glorify Him with my life, to bless Him with the day He has given me. I KNOW He won't leave me this way. He's never left me destitute. He's never forsaken me.

So I come here this Sabbath and confess to Almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do; and I ask blessed Mary, every virgin, all the angels and saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.

Our prayers are God's opportunities. When Peter was kept in jail, the church was earnestly praying to God for him. The prison was miraculously opened, Peter freed, and God's Word continued to increase and spread (Acts12:24).

So please pray for me.

For those that are reading this and are in bondage to the spirit of laziness also, I KNOW your pain. I know how it feels to desire to get out of bed, the couch, the chair, and LIVE. I know what it feels like to look around and see all that you could be doing but don't. I know the feeling of despair and crying tears of pain because you just can't get out of bed. There is pain, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual pain with this struggle. There is no denying that!

I want to let you know though...GOD WILL NOT LEAVE US THIS WAY! Oh my beloved one, I'm crying right now just typing this because I KNOW God won't leave us in this prison we are in.I will pray for you. Please pray for me. Together, we will walk out in freedom precious one and declare the mercies of God forever and ever.

amen amen amen

KILLER OF TIME

http://www.freespirithaven.com/2008/11/killer-of-time.html