MY WALK MONDAY

Please join me at Scrapping Servant. Let's sharpen one another.

I've started this devotional on Sunday. Will see if I get it done or will complete it Monday morning. All I know is that I NEED to pour out my heart.





Click on this picture so you can see the entire view.

That was me a few hours ago. Actually not on the floor but in bed. Flat on my back. Grasping unto a throw blanket, envisioning myself grasping onto Jesus' hem.







I had to go to bed because I was just stressed. I was unable to see any good in any one around me, or anything around me. I had to go to bed to protect my family from the wounds I would have inflicted with my words.

I don't need a knife, my tongue is sharper, piercing the heart swiftly and accurately. Does more damage than any knife could.

Before getting into bed, I got on my knees. I prayed. Certain prayers that bring me to God's altar, His throne.

As I laid in bed, I thought of stuff. My family's brokenness. My brokenness. The brokenness of our home. The list of brokenness around our home.

As I thought about all this, hopelessness started to creep in very slowly. I thought back to the times I would go to bed, retreat from everyone and sob uncontrollably. Wanting to die. Wanting the hurt, the pain, the sorrow to just end.

I thought about people right now that are experiencing this in their own life. Wanting all the pain to leave. Feeling completely hopeless, that nothing was going to get better.

I started to pray. I imagined myself climbing on Jesus' lap. Like an infant, He held me.

I told Him I wanted to stay there, to rest in His arms.

Than I just felt this need to say:

"Lord, I'm moving away, I'm bringing others to rest in Your arms." I named precious Andrew from Bella ~ Mella.

I named each of my children's names. Lifting up their needs individually. I named my husband. Doing the same with his needs.

I envisioned each of them in the arms of Jesus. Resting. Being secure. Finding healing.

I lifted many of you the same way.

Than I started to call out to the Holy Spirit.

You know, when I first became a believer, my prayers were always directed to Jesus. Of course! He was the One that saved me from the pit of hell, so it was natural to cry out to Him.

Eventually I began to call out to God my Father. For it was His plan all along to make me His. I was able to call Him Father and trust in His love, His care and His will for my life.

I rarely thought of the Holy Spirit. Thought about Him when I read God's Word. I just never really understood much about all that the Holy Spirit represents in my very life.

Jesus said that He would leave us the Holy Spirit to be with us until Jesus came back for us.

Just this past year, through these storms my family and I have experienced,I have come to know the Holy Spirit's works in a greater and more powerful way than I have EVER known before.

So I started to pray to the Holy Spirit. Letting Him know how broken my family was. How broken God's children were. How we have turned away from God's precepts. How we have 'eaten the forbidden fruit', and wandered away from God's love and followed in the world's ways.

I prayed and thanked Him that He was our Comforter. That in the midst of everything that is going on, He comforts us.

That He was counseling my family. Working in our hearts right at that very minute. Guiding us. Teaching us.

That He was helping us. Helping us to be all that God has called us to be.

That He was our Advocate. On our behalf, the Holy Spirit was pleading our needs before God's throne.

As I prayed all this, I was praying for all of God's children also.

I asked God to forgive us, to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Wrong thinking, acting, speaking and living. For His Son's Name sake I prayed.

I laid in bed for about an hour. Randan ended up coming into my room to talk about something.

Just an hour before that, he was swearing, I was screaming, Asher was screaming. My tongue was cursing (not swearing) negative words over my children. Speaking what I see.

God has called me to walk by faith and not by sight. That is why I went to bed because I was walking by sight. Spewing curses!

So I got out of bed and continued the conversation with Randan.

The Holy Spirit had done His counseling upon each of our hearts! No human words spoken. No human actions on our part.

Supernaturally, the Holy Spirit worked.

I really can't tell you how many times this has happened in our lives this past year.

Calling out to the Holy Spirit, praying for His help and counsel, His intercession upon our lives...and like a gentle wind brushing your face, He comes!!!!

He comes!!

What I have learned this past year is that I do not fear nor dread any evil. For God is with my family and I. The Holy Spirit is moving and making His home here.

I have learned that I do not need to fear when 'life' comes at you. You know, 'life'. EVERYONE goes through it. Stress, children, marriage, relationships, co workers, bosses, finances, unemployment, ministry, church activities, the laundry, snotty noses, sickness. The list DOES not stop!!

Life does not stop.

"If it is not one thing, it's another."

This was said over the phone the other day from a precious sister.

HELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..

I didn't say anything to her when she said that. I let her just 'verbally vomit' on me. This is when we rattle on and on about 'life'. You know, all the above and more that I wrote above. I let her. I prayed while she was 'being sick' on me.

I tried to call her back to share my heart with her at a later time. It just didn't work out. Need to give it to God.

I share with you though.

DON'T EVER THINK that it will not stop! The one thing after another!

The perfect rest from life.

It DOESN'T. Not here on earth!

A lesson I have learned this year is like St. Paul:
I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I have learned the secret of living in every situation. Philippians 4:11-12
I have learned that I no longer need to dread when 'life' happens. When there is screaming, when there is stress, when there is brokenness, etc.

For God is with my family and I. Jesus saved us! An abundant life He has granted us, EVEN when 'life' happens. The Holy Spirit is right here with us. Right here!! In our very physical bodies. In our hearts. In our minds. In our spirit.

He is making His home with us.

SIGH...

So even though I 'fell' down today, God's Word says, though a righteous man may fall 7 times, he WILL get up.

God's Word says the good work that He started in us, He will CONTINUE...

Continue!!!

He's NOT stopping..

Glory to God.

Thy Kingdom come Father God on earth as it is in Heaven.
amen amen amen

MY WALK MONDAY

http://www.freespirithaven.com/2009/09/my-walk-monday_27.html