I'm sitting here and just needed to share this.
sigh....
I've been feeling for some time that I just needed to take a break.
Not from this life style I've been living.
Sacrificing two meals a day.
No, that's not it.
It's the constant 'talking' about weight release.
Instead of my days being consumed with thoughts of food, now they are consumed with how I'm doing, if I'm having a good day, if I'm having a bad day. Am I on track? Why am I struggling today?
Long before I ever heard of Intermittent Fasting.
Long before I heard of Dr. Herrings book Fast 5, I was sacrificing two meals a day.
The only "One" that knew about it was God.
May sound silly.
May sound strange.
But it is the truth.
I did not discuss for the first year this life style with anyone.
When asked, I would say: I'm cutting back.
It's the truth.
Now that I have begun sharing, talking, writing, discussing this life style
So many have joined in the 'race' with me.
It's been wonderful.
It's been encouraging.
It's been uplifting.
It has also caused me to fall off the ladder.
Fall down in the race.
Caused me to stumble.
"Even though it's good, doesn't mean it is God's best".
I've been known to say this quite often.
It's been good for me to encourage others in their own weigh loss journey.
It's been good to put myself out there and let others know my own struggle, my own addiction to food and the stronghold it had over me.
It's good.
Right now though, it's not the best.
I'm not 'done' yet.
God is not finished with me yet with this journey of weight release.
The good work that He has started He WILL complete, but right now it NEEDS to be completed.
I've just felt for awhile now that if I don't get this right, how am I able to help others TRULY on their journey.
I NEED to finish the race so I CAN help others when they are in their race.
If I'm racing with you, I am too weak to help you and stay on the track with my own race.
I've been struggling with this for awhile now and this picture pretty much sums it all up.
I need a break.
I need to get MYSELF back on the track.
I know many of you need accountability, need the support, and the encouragement.
I'm not saying I don't either.
I just have mine in a different way.
I need to get back to why I started this life style.
I need to get back to walking it ALL the way to the finish line.
Than I can come back and cheer you all from the side lines.
I don't know if you understand anything I wrote, or can relate to any of this.
That is ok.
I'm ok with that.
It's time for me to take time out..
ya, for beauty!!
On the inside as well as the outside.
My heart needs to get right.
Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21
Blessings!
4 comments:
Angela,
Your post SO perfectly summed it up for me- what I could not say so eloquently. I haven't been posting videos on utube for the very same reason. Thanks for putting to words what I have been experiencing in my heart.
gracerenewed
(Lil)
I totally get, understand and support your need for privacy in this area. I won't bring this area of our lives up again unless you do. Thank you for sharing this lifestyle with me and bringing me to a place where I can run with God to the finish line. Though I don't think there will be a finish line for me except Heaven. Even when I release the last bit of this weight, I will be about maintaining and careful not to fall into old habits of eating and compulsions. Love you mucho!!!
I can totally understand where you're coming from. Sometimes we can dwell on an area of our life to the extent that it feels like we're beating a dead horse. And it gets OLD!
Praying for you my dear and for Randy to get work.
Hugs,
Lisa
Lil, thank you so much for stopping by. Not sure if you will get this message but your comment was such a blessing to me and a CONFIRMATION that this post was what I NEEDED. I was nervous about sharing this. Feeling of 'not supportive for others', 'you need to keep doing this', bla bla bla...
After I fought off those emotions and completed this post, peace just washed all over me. It was right.
I've been dealing with this for quite some time now but keep shoving it down (and with food I may add)..so thank you for blessing me. I don't think you will understand what it meant to my heart your comment..((hugs))
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